I have historically been a bottom that tries to take control.

I make excuses, I play guilt trips, I lie, i try to direct activity, I try to remain in control.... To drive the agenda.
I'm not sure why as it ruins my fun.

I need to be controlled. I want to be out of control...... But my weaknesses kick in too often. I need a strong, brave woman. I hope I have found her!!

Has anyone else experienced a bottom trying to top? How did you stop it?

I had been searching for someone to blackmail me for some time...... I had searched for face to face relationship and online. It was with Mistress Bella that I found what I had been searching for so long...... And I think it helps being an online relationship.

Why?

Because I cannot look into her eyes and see her weaknesses. I cannot see her frailties or uncertainties...... I don't know her..... She could be a real sadistic bitch..... But over the internet I cannot truly tell.

I want to give her all my credit card details..... I hope I have the balls to do it later tonight!!! But like I said earlier, I cannot look her in the eyes to see her reaction to getting the info. Will she ruin me? Will she toy with me?

Online blackmail is soooo powerful. I recommend it highly!!!

This isn't so much a fetish as a weakness!!!!

I am one of the most competitive individuals you could ever wish to meet. I will not be beaten!!!

So any game.... Any gamble is difficult to resist. The odds could be against me, but so long as they are not impossible I will give it my best.

An example is a game I used to play with a Mistress. I had to go out in my lunch hour, buy a pair of ladies knickers and wear them. I then had to give Miss a choice of four colours that I had chosen..... If Miss guessed correctly I had to pay her 20 pounds (about 30 dollars).  She would write down the colour she thought on a piece of paper and I would turn up at her house..... She would show me the paper, then I would show her the knickers I was wearing!!

It was very exciting..... We played that game lots!!

So not a fetish as such (although I enjoy wearing ladies underwear), more of an addition to challenges!!

I'm not sure if this is a fetish or just a personal taste when it comes to defining an attractive woman..... But I do adore woman who wear glasses. I think Mistress Bella is stunning but it is her glasses which are a standout feature.

I think they make women look more domineering..... Which is obviously perfect!!

I adore small feet..... With painted nails....... Wearing open toed sandals. Seeing woman wearing such footwear at work turns me weak!!

But I also like sweaty feet, straight out of trainers after a hard session at the gym.... I would love to suck those sweaty toes given an opportunity.

I'm not sure why? I don't know why feet are so alluring but they certainly get my heart beating.....

I used to have a Mistress who lived about 10 miles from me, and she knew I couldn't resist a challenge and she knew I had a bit of a poo fetish, but even so, I was still surprised when she took me for a picnic in April this year.
She lay out the rug and got out a family size home made trifle.  She told me I had to eat it all up, even if it made me sick.

She also told me that the ingredients included her own poo.

Jell with fruit, sponge and poo. Topped with custard, then cream, then a crumbled chocolate flake.

Miss made me put my hands behind my back, then fed me the trifle, spoon by spoon, telling me to chew it and let her know what flavours each spoonful included.
Some mouthfuls were very pleasant, and others were gut churning, but I sat on the picnic rug, with the hugest erection I had ever experienced and I desire to complete the whole trifle no matter how hard it got.

I was half way through before I began to gag, but Miss told me I had to complete the task even if I was sick.... So I took a break, had a drink and carried on. The last mouthful was almost completely poo, and as I chewed and swallowed I felt like how I imagine Olympians feel when they cross that line for the gold medal.

YES!!!

I am a scat fanatic and I'm working away from home and staying in a hotel tonight.

I have been out eating with collagurs whilst wearing a nappy Anne then went out drinking alone with urine filled nappy.

I am now back in hotel..... I have poo'd in a nappy full of urine and I'm going to sleep in my mess. I cannot describe how it feels..... It is amazing feeling the shame of my dirty behaviour..... I wish someone would walk in on me..... A colleague!!!

I'm going to enjoy tonight.....

Hi, 

I am Nigel. And I have recently signed a consensual blackmail contract. Everything going along fantastically so far. Loving it. Wanting more. Feeling brave. Feeling like I wanna do what I'm told. However hard.

Interests include adult nappy and toilet play. . Feet.... I live little painted toe nails. The shorter the toes the better.  Having no control, as I am a control freak..... I need to have all control taken away. I am competetive and therefore love challenges.

I love being abused verbally. Humiliated..... Ideally in public and made to feel ashamed.

On these forums to share experiences and talk to like minded individuals....

Nigel

I am a submissive who cannot resist a challenge...... Especially where poop is involved.

One of my favourite experiences was when my Mistress took all my money, handed me a one day public transport rail card, and the drove me to the other side of town. She then waited with me until I managed to poo in my nappy, that I soooo enjoy wearing. Then she left me to make my way back via public transport to collect my car......

But, it was rush hour, the bus was full and you could smell my mess easily. I felt shame and humiliation to levels I had never experienced before. I could feel people looking at me. I sensed they knew. I was certain they were disgusted. I wanted to cry. I felt sick.

It was an experience that go me so aroused, that when I got my car back, I drove to a secluded spot..... Thrust my hand down my filthy nappy and masturbated into my poop.

It was mind blowing........ WOW!!!